Gratefulness

Grateful = Feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful. (thankful - appreciative - beholden). 

As mentioned before my January theme is Grateful. The theme was up for a challenging start. In early January I did not feel grateful at all. I am relatively certain I was not alone in this feeling as Januray is one of the suckiest months, especially in Sweden. We are all broke, pale, have our fingers recently blown off by firecrackers and there is approximately another six months until we can step outside - some days - not wearing a jacket. 

Anyhow, I'm in Singapore right. Grateful to me, has an element of guilt, or a "must" or some sort of reciprocate obligation attached to it. You have to either do something good, or be at the mercy of someone else's grandness in order to be thankful, or grateful. Or you have to be religious.

By mid-January I realised that I could not seriously think I was completely ungrateful, so I started thinking about little things. Like how I'm kind of grateful for the balcony, especially on a cool yet sunny day. Okay, first of all, the entire look and feel of the balcony is 100% hard work and lots of money. The wooden floor is not only surprisingly costly it was also heavy as h#ll to carry up all the stairs. Not to mention all the plants we bought and with blood sweat and (allergy infused) tears carried up to the little rooftop palace. Then it takes a daily watering of the plants and regular maintenance of the wooden floor to keep the whole concept alive. And though sunny days are common in Singapore, cool and sunny is not that common. 

So when I was lying on the balcony floor, sunbathing, reading a book and casually pondering upon if I was able to feel grateful, I decided I am grateful for the balcony. I am also grateful that it is possible to sunbath on the balcony without being seen. *Knock on wooden floor*, since that statement is only true if the neighbors stay on their side not peeping through the cracks of the separating wall.  

Now, by the end of the month, I have decided I am grateful for a whole bunch of things that is beyond my control. A few examples:

- That ice cream was invented and is being popularly developed and sold all over the world.

- That Singapore allows foreigners to come live and work on this tiny little island.

- That there are an abundance of options, in today's globalised and tech-driven world, for me to stay in touch with my family and friends, when the traditional face-to-face is not possible.

So all in all, I think I can comfortably say that I do feel grateful at times. And I feel really happy about a gazillion things in life, so maybe grateful is just another way of being happy. Like happiness defined by an action or a cause. Because sometimes I just feel really happy. Like if I see a puppy. I would never say I'm grateful for seeing a puppy. But it makes me happy, and then maybe I'm grateful that I'm easily pleased, and have the ability to see the litle things in life with a smile on my face and a bubbly feeling in my chest.

Not entirely sure what the February theme will be, but there's a few more days to think that over. Hereby sending some sunshine to all my wonderful friends and family in Sweden, I know it's a little horrible right now, but at least it's going in the right direction right, eventually the sun shall return. And aren't we all grateful for that. :)

Peace!