Fringe festival part 2. I go see a dance act called Xtra Large from Belgium. The dance caught my attention as I thought it was about being a fat teenage lesbian with a passion for life. As the show started it became clear the three dancers in fat suits had no lesbian aspirations whatsoever. It was more about apples.
A Chinese girl, a Chinese boy, an 'other' girl and lots of apples. The music was really good, and the one hour long dance act was good. The person next to me (not my friend) whispered OMG three times in a very high pitched excitement. First time when the guy pulled down the zipper of the clothes he was wearing on top of the fat suit, to reveal, yes you guessed it, an apple. Second time was when Chinese boy and girl balanced each other on the corner of a table. Lastly the most excited Oooooh my God came when the dancers stepped out of their fat suits to freely roam around the stage, loving each other and all the apples.
I have to say the lovemaking was not very creative though. First both the two girls try to seduce the boy by rubbing apple against themselves. Finally the Other girl wins the boy over by playing some sort of catch me if you can goes "No you can't have my apple. Yes you can. No you can't". Oh Lord my inner warrior got pissed off at the stupidity of letting kids see a play where the boy is firstly hypnotized by the girls acting sexy, followed by a complete inability to actually pick one of them, he just drools and follow whoever pulls him forward, and then finally the girl who does no-yes-no-yes until her friend is securely thrown out of the competition, gets the boy and have sex with him. I mean what's the moral in that? Fat kids are just as stupid as the rest of us?
Anyhow. The lovemaking dance was passionately performed by the Chinese boy and the Other girl to some sort of tango or flamenco sounding music. The Chinese girl gets very jealous and angrily stomps around smashing apples. Later she also gets a shot at "sharing her apple" with the boy (I know, he is one lucky apple boy). But instead of twirling around biting on the same apple and feeling each other up, the Chinese girl simply takes off her clothes and sits down. The boy shyly takes off his clothes as well and sit down next to her. Then they call out body parts. Nooooose. Kneeeeeee, Teee-Teee (boy points in between his legs) and Titty! (girl points at her breast) - followed by heartfelt laughter from the younger audience. Then the girl stands on top of the guy's feet and they balance at the end of the table. Followed by some sort of dance where they are not really touching each other, it's more a moving across the table quite similar to how kids that barely know how to walk interact with each other when there are a shiny toy around (or in this case, an apple). I really don't want to have sex with an Asian after seeing that, at least not a Belgian Asian.
Other thoughts that popped up during the apple filled hour:
- What if the best dancers were allergic against apples, like me. Could they change the apples to lets say donuts?
- Being fat means one have to make larger movements while dancing, it's simply put more difficult (the fat suit thing was really good, and the dancers were really very talented).
- How hard does one have to throw an apple to the floor in order to make it splash?
- Big is beautiful. The word fat is in my mind equal to fluffy, and that makes me smile. Thank you Gabriel Iglesas.
- I think it's possible to make something similar to apple pie in a frying pan. Must google.
- What if they weren't supposed to have dropped the apple? It happened a couple of times, but it looked natural and fitted the choreography. Then again, it's not like they could snap out of character, pick up the apple and continue.
- To me an apple is green by default. Google apple however, and in addition the Apple logo, most apples are red.
- Not to self. No more fringe.
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