Russians and Tarzan

On my second week at work, the company took me and most of the other people in our office, including the sales teams around South East Asia to Pattaya in Thailand. The plan was to host a product launch and a sales conference as well as enjoying an internal gala dinner and some teambuilding. My prior knowledge of what one can find in Pattaya was limited to strippers and drunken Scandinavians. So I found Pattaya to be an interesting choice of location for a company event.

Arriving in Pattaya I spent 98,5% of my time within the compound of the very nice hotel (busy organizing the different events), and it is therefor difficult to accurately comment on the availability of strippers and drunken Scandinavians. However we did drive through town on one occasion, and passing by some sort of hawker center (food center), I noticed that each table had a stripper pole, complete with a lady and all. In conclusion I think it is fare to say that the strippers are definitely easily available.

Drunken Scandinavian encounters was limited to a single meeting which surprisingly took place in my own hotel room. I had just got back to my room after a long, hard working day. Stepping out of my clothes and getting ready for bed I headed for the loo when a tipsy and haggard looking Scandinavian suddenly seams to come out of the bathroom at the same time as I try to go inside. I stop completely and immediately, thinking with a growing panic, that I have entered and got undressed in the wrong room! The other person, thankfully a girl, seem to be going though the exact same thought process and surprise. And so I realize the bathroom door is a full size mirror. The cleaning lady had closed the door, and in my weary state of mind I kind of missed the mirror and thought it was just another corner of the room.

Magic Howard entertaining at Gala Dinner

If Scandinavians were absent, that is the least one can say about Russians. Them pale maffiosos were all over the place. Most of them speaking to me, in Russian naturally, and when I say speak I mean having long conversations with me - completely ignoring my "I'm sorry, I'm not... I don't actually..." "Not Russian. No understand...." etc. They were also doing interesting lap-dances in the pool and staring each other down on the beach. Coming from Europe (trendy) and Asia (somewhat modest), I also found the Russian fashion display outstanding! Tackiness hit new levels and when seriously fat men in zebra striped, minimal, swimming trunks walked by, I had to intensively control my urge to snap a picture.

Highlight of the Pattaya trip was with no doubt Flight of the Gibbon. A zipline canopy tour through the jungle of Thailand. With 24 stations we zipped between trees high, high, and very very high up in the air. Twice we also zipped vertically straight down, which was more scary but cool. The last zipline was over 300 meters long and really nice, especially due to special effects by the windy weather. Interesting to notice was that even if the special sound effects mainly came from the younger female members, the general fear of heights and extended tree-hugging sessions at the different platforms mainly hit our older male members. Us inbetweeners, age-wise in between that is, happily throw ourselves out in the jungle roof with the same ease and graze as Tarzan & Jane.